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Although he is one of the stronger players on his team, my son is not immune from encountering the ire of his baseball coaches. Coach Trevor stopped practice three times Wednesday afternoon to bark at my son, not because of a misplay or a strikeout, but because the boy feels as though he has a right to tell his teammates what to do. “Hey!” Trevor shouted from across the field. “Do you want to coach this team? Because it’s the coach, not the player, who is supposed to tell the team where to throw the ball. OK? So unless you think you can be the coach, close your mouth.” I felt for…

Those who read this site with any frequency know that I’m about as likely to the high road as I am to sprout vulture wings out of my nostrils and fly away home to the family booger farm in South-Central Nowhere. I don’t “do” the high road. I peel off the scabs and expose everything about everything, and sometimes I use naughty words along the way. Correction. I ALWAYS use naughty words along the way. And shit. But for once I’m going to take a stroll down the Dignified Highway. Despite my deep, visceral, raging hunger to lambaste my former employer for the way they laid me off and…

So far, the best thing about being laid-off is watching the goober sitting next to me. You should see this guy. His haircut summons memories of the guy from Wham! who wasn’t George Michael. His ears are pierced with blue plastic rivets and he's rockin' a fury brown ‘stache the likes of which I have not seen since Lando Calrissian went teets-up. He has the crazy eyes, and he’s spent the last 45 minutes posting to his MySpace page and the bulletin board for the LA radio station most likely to play Morrisey and Depeche Mode and all of that other late 80s emo rubbish. You can’t find this…

In 1977, I sent a barely legible handwritten note to Arthur Fonzarelli. “Dear The Fonz, Ayyyyyy. How are you. I em fine. My name is Danny. I em sevin yers old. I em yur bigest fan. I woch yur show evry week and I thing you are cool. Cud I have yur otograf. Sey hi to Richee and Mr. C for me. Stay cool. Ayyyy. Danny Evans P.S. Ayyyyyy.” Three months later, The Fonz sent me a postcard with his picture on one side and a handwritten message about staying in school on the other. It was my most prized possession. I taped the postcard to the side of my nightstand closest to my head because I…

I always seem to take it in the shorts when we go out for dinner because I’m far less particular about what I put in my body than my kids. I’ll eat just about anything if it’s served with a beer, but the kids have a reputation for spirited disapproval if we don’t give them something covered in ketchup or ranch dressing or that disgusting cheese sauce with the orangey yellow color that neither appears in nature nor seems particularly appealing to anyone who has ever changed a baby’s diaper. But Tuesday was my birthday and I decided to put my gastronomic foot down. “We’re going…

You miss your wife and daughter terribly. It's late at night. Your apartment feels cavernously empty. The silence seems to echo off the brick walls and reverberate noiselessly. How is that possible? The TV hums in the background. You sigh heavily and, as you gaze upon a photo of your wife and daughter, you pour yourself another scotch. Things changed so quickly. Only a week ago, you and your family awoke to one of those beautiful spring mornings in Manhattan, the kind of morning that always rekindles your unabated love for this city. Your daughter is practically bursting at the seams with…

How many times can a grown man watch "The Sound of Music" with his daughter before he completely loses his sanity? What are the future ramifications if a young girl watches "The Sound of Music" 43,287 times between the ages of two and four? Will she want to move to Austria? Pursue a career in child services? Abandon a career in the nunnery? Why do toddlers feel compelled to unravel an entire roll of toilet paper? Is the fun in watching it unroll or in watching your parents go completely bonkers? Is baby perfume really necessary? Febreeze and scented baby wipes seem to work…

It's been a long time since we've done a mailbag. I figure now is a good time to catch up because I'm about 3 months behind in replying to e-mails from readers. Let's start off by saying that I'm always surprised by the questions that readers send in. I've always believed that I have the weirdest, coolest, smartest, and strangest readers on the internet. As always, your questions this past week seem to confirm it. Let's get this thing rolling... Who was the hottest TV mom in a family show? I read on ESPN that Bill Simmons voted for Elyse Keaton. Who would you vote for?-- Bradley Elyse Keaton…

We're going to start this post off with a big pimpin' endorsement to Cool Mom Picks. Why? Many reasons. For one, the site is an amazing resource for moms who are looking for cool, new products to make their lives easier. They focus on non-mainstream products and services, particularly those from indie or emerging designers and mom/women-run companies. Go subscribe to their newsletter here. Secondly, the two women who run Cool Mom Picks, Liz and Kristen, are not only good friends of mine but they're also cool as hell  That's why I found myself last Friday night in an East Village karaoke…

As I've discussed on these pages before, two of my greatest passions in life are (1) being a proud Asian-American man, and (2) baseball. So it's only natural that I have a special place in my heart for any MLB baseball players of Asian descent (even if they do play for the damn Yankees.) Part of it has to do with the inherent pride when we see people who look like us achieve success in any field. However, a bigger part of my love and admiration for Asian baseball players has to do with the fact that they are our greatest weapons in battling mainstream media's perception of the emasculated…

There are many things that make a parent roll their eyes, shrug their shoulders and give the look of “oh well they are after all kids”, and I have those moments usually daily.  Those moments sometimes make me chuckle like a 6th grade boy all over again. Genuine Baby, or I guess he is actually the toddler now and I should change the moniker, has been trying to be potty trained but for whatever reason he kind of lost hope one day and stopped trying to earn our praise.  He is currently in the Huggies Pull-ups.  Part of the problem is that he is completely obsessed with…

You may be wondering why I suddenly started posting here at my Daddy blog and I guess it was more than time for that to happen. I suppose you could say that I was made to feel guilty for not posting by actually being honored as a top Daddy blogger. I was first listed on Guy Kawasaki’s site called Alltop Dads. This site was dedicated to listing some of the top names in niche’s listed in many different categories. This blog was listed in the top 50 of Dad bloggers. You can find many other (and in my mind better) bloggers in the Daddy niche just by clicking through to those listed.

I have often said that I bang out the movie quotes with the best of them.  Usually it is spurred by saying something in relation to something someone else has said, or situational comedy fun.  I am happy to say my sons are following in my footsteps. My 2 year old son acting like he has been smoking loco weed and making funny sounds and bouncing off the walls today made me mutter under my breath “freak.”  Yeah, his hearing is better than I thought, and he decided to bust out his own movie quote from Alvin and the Chipmunks singing: “Don’t you wish your…

A few years back my friend Mindy of the Mommy Blog sent me a video that she had been sent about children’s valium called Kidstoned. I ran across it again on YouTube the other day and I had to share it again. I need to find out which of my local pharmacies sells this over the counter.

I have been doing my own self study since becoming a stay at home dad.  After more than a year and a half of this work I have drawn some conclusions, the main conclusion of which is that being a stay at home parent is hard work. The grass is always greener until you have had a chance to munch on that greener grass for a while.  Then other fences get built and you begin to peer over those fences to see a different shade of green.  I suppose that is what makes life become less stagnant. I sit here in front of my computer at 4:00 a.m. as I am not only a stay at home dad but I am…

A big reason we moved to Minnesota two years ago was to avoid air travel. In Charleston, where we lived at least 1,500 miles away from anybody who shared either mine or my wife's DNA, that was largely unavoidable on an average year, no matter how much I begged and pleaded to stay home.Sure, it's colder here in Minnesota and there are neither mountains nor oceans nearby, but at least I don't have to pay hundreds of dollars to be tired, cramped, stressed out and treated like garbage just to fulfill some family visiting obligations.Yet, ironically, I ended up taking a job that -- you guessed it…

I've returned from Virginia, but that return required another 0-dark-30 wake up so I could be sardined into a metal tube and hurtled through the air, several thousand miles above the earth, at 200 miles an hour. I am one pooped dork.On this day my trip included a 30-minute delay because the ramp was stuck to the plane and couldn't be moved, a loudly snoring passenger and a flight attendant who began our flight by urging us to turn off (and I'm quoting accurately here) "your cell phone, PDA, calendar, data organizer, blackberry, blueberry, raspberry, strawberry, Halle Berry or Chuck…

I woke up this morning at 3:30, which is officially freaking early. My first thought the moment the first of my four alarms went off was, "Dear God, please let me fall asleep on the airplane."I decided to get revenge on The Wife for abandoning me for five days in Vegas by leaving by myself for ... Newport News, Virginia. Because airlines are sadistic bastards the only way I could get from Minneapolis to Newport News via air was to take the 6 a.m. flight. That's early enough, but the possibility of getting strip-searched before my flight requires that I be at the airport two hours beforehand…

I wasn't entirely surprised that the first card I received for my birthday this year came from my insurance agent. My life insurance agent. Among other things in the card, he wished my a "long and healthy life." Thankfully, he avoided adding the more honest, "so my coworkers don't have to spend months searching for policy loopholes to avoid paying hundreds of thousands of dollars to your heirs."Still, it's a good thing that he hasn't started stalking me, because if he did he would have found me and the family shoehorned into a burger joint -- an Irish burger joint at that -- consuming a…

The Wife returns late Wednesday from Vegas, where she attended a "conference" for "work." I'm happy to say that both I and The Boy managed to survive these five days on our own. I cannot, however, say that my psychological state survived in tact, as you are about to see with the diary I, uh ... religiously filled in throughout my experiment with single parenthood. Enjoy!Day 1: SaturdayWe dropped The Wife off at the airport at 5:30 a.m. I got three hours of sleep. The Boy, instead of going back to sleep like a good child when we returned home so his sleep-deprived dad could get some rest,…

One more thing to add to the ever expanding list of Shit You Really Don't Want To Talk To Your Four-Year-Old About: shark attacks. When your goal is to have your son grow up to be the next Joel Tudor, and your daughter to be the next Lisa Andersen, this is not a welcome development. Not that I'm in the least bit concerned - even though David Martin was killed at the surf break that was my go-to spot when we lived in Solana Beach. Saw lots of dolphins in the three years that I frequented that break, nary a shark. Hell, I spent 7 years working for SeaWorld, spouting statistics and anecdotes…

I was sitting in a bookstore in Hollywood talking to Neal Pollack and had just finished saying something stupid to a friend of his about her shoes when Rebecca Woolf walked in. We were introduced and Neal went on to tell me that Rebecca had just signed a book deal. She was stunning so I only hated her for a moment. She talked briefly about the book before being whisked away to give chase to her motherly duties. Later, while I was reading whatever it was I was reading, Rebecca and her son Archer made a few laps around me and every time one of us would nod or smile to the other, sometimes both.

Holy hell, people. BPA! It's everywhere and in everything and will kill you and your family until you are dead! I have to say that I knew very little about BPA until recently, when Beth came home one day and told me that we had to toss all of Zoe's (SO FUCKING CUTE, MY DAUGHTER IS) bottles into the recycle bin and buy a bunch of new, non-BPA tainted ones. Which are, of course, twice as expensive as the BPA bottles. (Why is it that when you buy a product that has LESS of something, it costs you more? Example: Fat Free Nacho Cheesier Doritos cost a buck more than Regular Nacho Cheesier Doritos.

Today is Earth Day.  Every day is Earth Day.  See how that works.  The bottom line is that we've pushed this poor planet about as far as it can go without serious repercussions.  More serious repercussions. You don't have to be a hippie smelling of patchouli and  mushrooms to celebrate your planet.  Our planet.  Sure, showers are optional, but let's not be over dramatic.  We've only got one planet and if we don't start living differently we're going to lose it.  I'm talking to you, big oil, but not just you.  We can all make a…

Seriously.  Where the hell is everyone?  I don't remember it being this quiet around here since we all got back from that awkward trip to Vegas, and by awkward I mean awesome. I swear, some of these guys have balls the size of my balls.  It was crazy. We're not hungover now.  None of us are in hiding or the doghouse- as far as I know.  We're just busy, like you are, but that doesn't mean that our respective battles are going to keep us detached from here, "i.e., society."  We're living the life dad, and as you know that makes for great fodder. Not as…

How many Oscars do you have? That's what I thought.Tom Hanks has 16. Give or take. That means he's a better person than most of us. Accept it.Okay, he may not be a better person, but he's obviously smarter than anyone that hung the wrong chad thus far in the electoral process.Don't vote for a proven liar or a war monger (or McCain). Let's actually do something with this country besides watch it rot.I'm Whit Honea and I loved Tom Hanks in almost all of his movies (and Bosum Buddies).

I've been asked to participate in the virtual shower for Her Bad Mother, Mrs. Chicky, and Mrs. Chicken, three bad mothers you know so well lovely ladies that are all about to ruin change their lives with the addition of a second child. I feel like a rooster in her bad hen house.I'm supposed to offer what I can in the way of ass/advice regarding the transition from one child to two. If DON'T DO IT is no longer an option then I can only think of one thing. Forget the Diaper Genies and bottle warmers of the world, you need these:If you buy now I'll even throw in the handsome models (at a…

I found this site over at Liv's. It's a great way to avoid working.Does anyone know how to kill the autoplay on this?

In a few hours the sun will rise and the world you know will stretch and yawn and spend a few minutes scratching things that itched in the night. Then there will be that moment, my favorite of the day, when you and your little brother are full of joy and innocence and the early hour hasn't allowed you time to make each other cry or fight over things that only matter but for an instant. You and Zane will appear at the end of the hall, each with a stuffed mouse, loved and worn, tucked under your respective arms and you'll run towards me with a purity that I don't deserve and you will hug me…

Today was like any other day. I worked. I played with the boys. I got my check from BlogHer and thought about buying one of the kids lunch with it. It was slow, and then it was fast, and then it just sort of plateaued into the nothingness that I'm now passing off as this post.Tricia was at work, like she always seems to be, and the boys were fighting over nothing and crying about it. Zane was upset and when I remained indifferent to his CONSTANT whining he started wandering around the house calling for his mommy. It would break your heart if you didn't see it all day.A few minutes later I…

I have to attend our odious weekly senior staff meeting this morning, so I figured that since this meeting is likely to be fraught with contention, I would fortify myself with some high-end caffeine. The Starbuck's I am in, now, is that same place where I talked to Dan Rather a few weeks ago.  I suspect that today will be different, though.  There won't be any celebrity sightings... instead, we will be taking a ride on the Crazy Train.  I chatted with a animated young woman that works in the basement library of congress, who was determined to sit at one of the outside cafe…

It’s late. It’s very late. It’s so late, it’s early morning… about 4 A.M.   In a nightclub, an undercover police officer hear snippets of conversation: Men, apparently drunken men, talking about “getting guns” when they leave the club. The officer alerts his partners, and contacts a supervisory officer, the supervisor arrives, and when the men leave the club, the cops follow. When the men got into their car, and appeared ready to drive off, an officer, with his gun drawn, identifies himself and tells the driver to stop. The driver attempts to flee, but is boxed in by…

On Saturday, I experienced something that youth sports coaches have always had to deal with.  A situation that, try as you might, you can't control.  When our game started on Saturday, I was faced with an entirely different group of girls than my usual players. Before you wonder why I had a team full of new players, let me explain.  These weren't new players... they werre my regular players that played (with three notable exceptions) like absoloute CRAP!!!!! The game started out quite normally.  The opposition was no better than my team, in fact, my girls were really…

The following is reprinted from colorofchange.org, portions in red are my own words. Dear Friends, Some leaders in the Democratic Party are playing with fire. They think that they can betray the will of millions of voters--and choose Hillary Clinton as their Presidential nominee, regardless of whether or not she is the choice of the majority of voters in the Democratic primaries. We can't let this happen. It would be the largest disenfranchisement in modern history, and it would mean the Democratic Party giving their stamp of approval to a clear and consistent pattern of race-baiting by the…

Have you ever heard of a movie that was hyped nearly beyond belief?  Have you ever seen a movie that left all of it's best bits in the tantalizing trailer? Heave you ever read a book and wished that there would be a film based on the main character?  Have you ever gotten your wish, and then be disappointed with the results?  I have.... you probably have, too.  Today, my friends, I am pleased to report that this is not the case! Today, I went to see the 12:15 showing of Iron Man.  Iron Man, that very human super-hero.  Iron Man, the hero that gadget-head boys…

Dear David I met a guy this past weekend for drinks at a wine bar and we had a great time. There were definitely sparks, and I’d like to see him again. How do I let him know I’m interested? I already sent an email thanking him for the evening. Should I call him? btw – [...]

What a morning. I’m still shaking my head. No, my daughter didn’t wake up like Miley Cyrus, nude in satin sheets. But my day did get off to a strange start… • My groin - I received email from a female reader of my blog, someone I’ve never met, asking: how is your groin? (I [...]

The new Dockers San Francisco commercial cracks me up. I get that some guys need a pair of Dockers for work (Though I gave that up 16 years ago when my daughter was born. Rolling around on the floor with her in the morning, spit-up a constant threat, I adapted quickly to shorts and jeans.) I get [...]

Famed photographer Annie Leibovitz recently shot Miley Cyrus for Vanity Fair, and the resulting pictures aren’t surprising. After all, Leibovitz is well known for other female celebrity pics she’s shot. Who can forget the photo of Demi Moore pregnant and nude, Scarlett Johansson and Keira Knightley nude with Tom Ford, or Demi wearing nothing but [...]

When the male principal of my son’s elementary school gathered the older grade boys for a preliminary talk (as in, the talk, birds and bees edition), one of his PowerPoint slides focused on deodorant and the fine art of smelling good. My son came home with a sample stick of Old Spice and a recommendation [...]

One of the perks of my job (besides free internet access and a climate-controlled cube set to 'glacial') is that I occasionally get to work on cool projects for cool clients.  This is relatively rare--I've spent most of the year trying to sell supplemental insurance and high-yield corporate notes--but when someone says, "Hey CroutonBoy, we need your help with a Colorado ski resort chain...are you interested?" the hardest part is not giving the messenger an open-mouth kiss. So last week I flew out to Colorado to meet the client, pitch their internet-strategy, and generally look…

OK, not really.  In fact, you'll probably be pissed you followed that title to get here, only to realize I'm just plugging my new blog. For some reason I felt that sporadic blogging here at Cheeky's Hideaway and the guilt I have for not blogging more frequently at DadCentric and Draft Day Suit wasn't enough.  I thought that my full-time job and parental responsibilities were insignificant enough to warrant me starting a new blog, because what I really need is another distraction in my life. I may look like a mild-mannered professional, but within my chest beats the heart of a…

First off, I need to thank the lovely Weirdgirl, who nominated me for the prestigious and totally-without-compensation Excellent Blog Award.   I've been a fan of her site and sense of humor for years, and, as Al Gore and Peter O'Toole can tell you (through clenched teeth) it's an honor just to be nominated.  Supposedly I'm obliged to pass this award along to ten other people (which means that at some point everyone will be nominated) but I'm going to wait on doing so until I actually have time to read more than ten blogs. However, the bulk of today's blog will be a response to…

Do you ever wonder how people who talk incessantly do it?  How it is they can continually be chatting about the most inane, pointless things, until their voice fades into background noise or you snap and crush their skulls with your bare hands?  How they can be so unaware of that I'm shoving an ice-pick into my ear to make the noise stop? I wonder this often, for I seem to have sired one of those people. Cheeky, god love her, is getting funnier every day.  Her nuggets of wisdom and insight are a constant source of amusement.  But they come at a cost.  A cost of…

In 1991, when I still had Mechanical Resonance and Long Cold Winter on heavy rotation in my CD player, a friend handed me a copy of Flood by They Might Be Giants.  I had heard of them, but to me they resided in some fringe world of music that only college radio hosts existed in, a world of pixies, sugarcubes, and dead milkmen.  I'm never one to turn down free music (obviously) but I figured it would soon end up as a trade-in so I could get credit towards the next Skid Row album. Much to my surprise, I found it weirdly catchy. I thought all music was about babes and partying all…

I'm tired....really, really tired.My morning started very early with Grace, in extreme panic, literally jolting me from a comfortable slumber. It was just after 4 a.m.Why, do you ask?Because she had to be at work by 4:30 and she couldn't find her identification cards, which are required for her to even enter the parking garage. They're essential and she can't work without them.I got up and helped her search everywhere. I emptied the dirty laundry hamper and sifted through the clothes, I searched every drawer and closet, I checked under the seats in the car. After about 10 minutes she realized…

Oh to be a toddler again, with total disregard for authority, ablivious of all manners, expectably defiant and carefree. Although I don't remember my toddler years, I imagine they were quite fun, despite the constant hassle in dealing with parents trying to bring a kid down. I often wonder what a world ran by toddlers would be like. It'd be a Toddlertopia, where kids rule. Here are some thoughts:1. The hurling of Hot Wheel cars would be an Olympic sport. Whomever causes the most damage to the flat-panel HDTV screen wins the gold medal. Silver and bronze medals would go to the kids that damage…

Okay, this might be a bit controversial, but I'm going to go ahead an lay it out there for you all.Let's start with the question...is it wrong to shower with your toddler?I don't see a problem with it. In fact, Zane and I take a shower together almost every night. Zane is a showering kid. He loves water and has no problem being bombarded with streams of it from every angle. He has no fear.For us, co-showering is more convenient than a bath in terms of time, and with water conservation in mind, it requires significantly less water (we're in our eighth year of a severe drought). It's also an…

This week's Blog of the Week is more than deserving of the honor. Jeremy at Discovering Dad assembled an insightful panel of women to present this week an enlightening series on What Moms Really Think. Each day featured a different topic of interest, including the good, bad and ugly of marraige, physicial appearance, sex, pet peeves and what makes a good dad.This brilliant series prompted candid and informative discussions on the topics, providing readers a look at what goes on in the minds of the women in our lives, as the series was intended. I'm confident that all of the dads (and moms)…

We got our new patio backyard landscaped this week. Following the rules of our homeowners association, working with limited space and with conservation in mind, below is what we came up with and had installed by professionals. It was a slight deviation from our original plan. It now includes Jasmine vines, an African Sumac tree and Texas Privet and Hawthorne shrubs. Not too bad. We may add more in the future. I hope you believe me when I say it's much more impressive in person. It's hard to get a good picture of such a small area.Before:After:Before:After:If you're worried about us having a…

These moments. They’re accumulating faster than I can take note of or savor them. They’re the little grooves at the edge of the Interstate that are supposed to keep you awake if you get too close - dozens and dozens, blurring together… shifting and flickering to form an unbroken whole. Together, they create a timeline, stretching out to the vanishing point - in front, and behind. Stay awake, Da-da. Of Rockets and the Geneva Convention For Nate’s second birthday, he received his Most Favorite Toy Ever - The Little Einsteins Pat Pat Rocket. Rocket has a cockpit that…

Would it be the thin, barely life-sustaining gruel? The routine beatings administered by hardened Turks in the prison steam factory? The dripping waterpipes over your sleeping mat? Your roommate’s incessant crying? I think it would be all the line-cutting in the gruel line, but not the Steam Factory beating line.

After dinner, Liam and Nate are watching the stellar kids’ music DVD, Here Come the ABCs by They Might Be Giants (Thanks Uncle Kevin and Aunt Jess!) TMBG must be up to their mic stands in some deadly black magic to have created a product that appeals to both the under 5 and the over 30 demographic. I highly recommend it to those of you choking on the purple swill that is Barney. “Here Come the ABCs” is, obviously, about letters and the alphabet and features maddeningly clever songs paired with charming animation. In one song, a tin man reminiscent robot sings the alphabet in…

(Click here to see the boys make landfall in full size)

I was watching television recently, and Peter Walsh, organizational guru of “Clean Sweep” and “Oprah” fame, was on, breaking down a woman’s disorganized life like a shotgun, then holding up the pieces for her to see and explaining all the underlying reasons behind her disorganization. Explaining why her inability to prove the existence of a couch in her living room was really just a symptom of a much larger problem.  To the crying woman, sitting in a kitchen filled with boxes, he said, “you save things for one of two reasons - either a thing has…

I recently read an article at A Good Husband that planted a seed in my mind for a future post. The article had to do with building a habit of complimenting your wife, which I think is a good endeavor for all Dads. Giving compliments are not as easy as you might think though. There is a subtly in word choice that makes a big difference in how the compliment is received.With Mother's Day this weekend, I thought now would be a good time to share my thoughts on compliments. If nothing else, it may help you when writing a note in a Mother's Day card for your wife.Do's and Don'ts of Complimenting…

OK. So, I didn't post anything last week about the size of my butt, which I am trying hard to reduce (along with my gut) before summer gets here. I skipped a post last week due to the What Moms Really Think series and all of the great conversations. No need to stink things up with pictures of my ass.I got a lot of advice about my killer diet two weeks ago.NukeDad said that I should drink more water and less diet soda. OK. Sounds easy enough. I've been a camel for the past 2 weeks, and I haven't had a soda in 10 days.He also said that I should eat more not less, with smaller portions and…

Ty loves to snuggle on the couch at night with Lori. He sprawls out like a little king of the castle. He puts his arms and legs any darn place he pleases. It doesn't matter to him that Lori is 33 weeks pregnant and has a big baby bump sticking up - it's still his space!I feel bad for Lori because I'm sure all of the squirming, kicking and pushing on the belly only makes her have to pee more than usual, which has become every 20 minutes or so lately. She takes it like a trooper though, as she knows that we only have a few weeks left until baby Caitlin shares the snuggle space from the outside…

It's hard to believe that two years ago Ty the Tank came barreling into this world. He was actually due at the end of May, but things were getting cramped in there (mama is petite) and he wanted out!And so, on May 7, 2006, Ty 'The Tank' Alexander was born.Ty had a hard time adjusting to the outside, so he had to stay in the NICU for a few days until he got things sorted out. This made me and Lori both nervous and sad. Every parent wants their child to be healthy, and it's hard seeing a bunch of newborns hooked up to machines and wires. The worst part was not being able to really snuggle with…

One of my favorite things about this blog is the Spotlight On Dads series that runs every Saturday. The profiles of my fellow dads are both insightful and interesting, and they're definitely worth revisiting.If you missed any of the Spotlights, here's a link to all of the ones featured thus far:Spotlight on Dads - Ed Lamaze (Zoe's Dad)Spotlight on Dads - Jim Lin (The Busy Dad Blog)Spotlight on Dads - Jason Roth (Roth Family Adventures)Spotlight on Dads - Chuck Houghton (D is for Dad)Spotlight on Dads - Scott Lancaster (DIY Father)Spotlight on Dads - Dana Glazer (Evolution of Dad)Spotlight on…

Until recently, I thought I was one of a socially retarded minority who pay entirely too much attention to professional sports uniforms. But then I found Uni Watch, the "obsessive study of athletic aesthetics." After reading the first few entries, I praised the heavens for the blog that showed me my socially retarded minority was a lot less minor. Then I cursed the heavens for not thinking of it first. Uni Watch chronicles just about any situation when a group of people are dressed the same way, from the sublime to the ridiculous, and it's a great read for anyone who, say, spent…

About a month after I joined the Boy Scouts, my patrol and I launched into a three-day camping trip in the wilds of northern New Jersey. Because there were seven of us, the three of us newbies had to sleep in a humongous, three-man Baker tent. Because it was made of canvas, with grommets of pure lead, that thing weighed somewhere between 40 and eight million pounds. And because I drew the short straw, I was the lucky soul who had it lashed to his backpack for the hike into camp. Considering all the unnecessary stuff that an 11-year-old Tenderfoot might think he'd need for two nights in the…

This post is a long time coming. I've written it in my head, phrase by phrase, for months, trying to anticipate what this week would feel like when it finally arrived. But now that the day is here, I'm as confounded as ever. So let's start at the beginning. As you may have noticed, there's a big, beige book prowling around the left-hand margin. It's an anthology of essays about fatherhood edited by Heather, who graciously asked me to contribute to it. Heather found me a few years back, and when she links to me my SiteMeter shoots out of my laptop and punctures a hole in my plaster ceiling. So…

The Weekly Disease. Shingles. The Weekly Observation. Shingles suck. The Weekly Other Observation. I suck at doing nothing. Really. I try to take some time off to rest and relax and I go crazy. Perhaps this is part of the problem. A big part. The Weekly Cookie. The peanut-butter cookies Beth and Mia made. They've got a chocolate kiss plopped on top. And, I think, a little rock of crack. The Weekly Reads. I Love You, Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle is a fantastic read. It's hilarious and heartfelt. Go grab a copy. You won't be sorry. The Weekly Schadenfreude. Amy Winehouse got arrested. For drugs.

Act One Me: Hello? Her: Hi. When we spoke yesterday you told me you'd be at my house between the hours of 8 and 11. It's 1:45 and I haven't seen you yet. Are you invisible or just late? I need to run some errands including a very important visit to the county offices so I cannot sit around to wait for you to come install my cable. So I ask you, when are you going to be here? Me: Uh. Her: Is that your answer young man? "Uh?" I hardly think that's an answer to my question. Me: Hold the phone. You are somewhere around the 14th irate and, honestly, strange person who's called me today. Apparently…

I'm ready and willing to admit that I'm guilty of Googling people. I know it can be perceived as sneaky but I'm moderately obsessed with it. And here's proof. Things I learned by Googling people from my past and present. The first girlfriend I had in high school once I moved to Virginia from Texas now teaches at my old high school. Which I now live behind. In her old neighborhood. Odd the way that works. Someone I work with led a hunger strike at a local university. It's strange because by my estimation she weights about 95 pounds. I wonder if she forgot to stop striking. A former employee of…

Yesterday morning, armed with the memories of horrific Google searches and a searing pain in my left arm, I did the unthinkable. I made an appointment with my doctor. I know - like reading instruction manuals or asking for directions, this is something virtually unheard of but I was, after all, afraid of losing my arm. I was motivated. I scored an afternoon appointment and marched myself in there at the appointed time. Then I whipped it out - my arm, that is - and became Ross Geller for a few minutes. Remember that old episode of Friends where Ross has an odd thing on his ass he claims is a…

There is a very real possibility that my left arm will fall off by the end of the week. Thank god I'm right-handed. Last Thursday I noticed that my whole arm hurt. Hurt as in somewhat uncomfortable but I don't need to drink a fifth of vodka or bite down on an arrow to control the endless stream of pain. I decided to check it out. Turns out I've got one fairly dramatic bite on my forearm and one circular batch of bites on my left shoulder. The cluster of bites are the most concerning - or were - because they hurt like the aftermath of a flu shot. I grew curious. I turned to the internet. Bad…

One humongous benefit of having children is that you now are allowed to wrestle with people! Pre-children, you likely have far too little wrestling in your life (not counting special wrestling). Children give you wrestling partners for at least a decade. And, unlike in middle school, this is satisfying wrestling, as you’re wrestling with people whose asses you can kick at your leisure.Honestly, apart from the benefits for you from burning off a little end-of-the-day stress, it’s a lot of fun for the kids to have their father throw them around. In fact, if you’re a little on the rough…

It's surprisingly hard to figure out how many words there are in an average book. Googling the question gives unsatisfying answers.In any event, by mucking around online and counting words on pages in 3 books, I determined that, roughly, you have maybe 250 words on a page (but I got as many as 400 for books with smaller typefaces and larger pages, and we're still talking trade paperbacks, so I'm sure some books have more). If you figure 200 pages is a book, that's 50,000 words or so. Figure blank pages, chapters, etc., and maybe 45,000 words or so. A book length piece of writing is between…

I really just don’t care.That’s what you think when you’re peacefully settling in, doing something you enjoy like reading a book, and one of your children runs up from the basement and tells you the awful and terrible thing that their sibling just did to them.But you can’t just not care, because you’ve probably told them that this is what they’re supposed to do. You said: “If your sister tries to start a fight with you, don’t hit her. Come tell me or your mother. We’ll deal with it.” That’s what you unfortunately said. And now you’re living with the consequences.Lots…

DADDY NEEDS A DRINK: An Irreverent Look at Parenting From a Dad Who Truly Loves His Kids -- Even When They're Driving Him Nuts (2005)I was ready to not like Robert Wilder. There were red alerts flashing as I examined the book cover and delved into the first few pages. Wilder lives in Santa Fe, a town which (admittedly based only on a week long visit there 10 years ago) seems to combine some of the worst qualities of college towns (our politics is pure!) with some of the worst qualities of California (we are just so damn laid back and cool!). Wilder married a woman named Lala, who is an artist…

At some point, everyone begins to worry about their children’s socialization. You want your kids to go out into the world and bond with other children; to enjoy friendships and everything that goes along with it: games, sharing, conversations about things of interest, etc.If by three years old or so your child isn’t thinking about interacting with other children and making friends, then maybe you figure that there might be something wrong. Of course, although your child should think about making friends at this age, any actual success in making friends should not be viewed as any kind of…

So, I’m pretty sure Momma is going to kill me! Why? Because, I have a weakness for FREE stuff. Especially free stuff with wheels and an engine. In the past year I have acquired an 87 Chevy Blazer, a 77 Honda motorcycle, and 4 old push mowers that I didn’t pay a penny for. The free “junk” is piling up behind our shed at amazing rates! (If I don’t stop bringing home so called “junk”..I may just be found mangled in the “junk pile” behind our shed. ) Guess what…none of the free “junk” ran when I got them. (and most of them…

We all have what I call our “early memories”. The ones from our early childhood that we will never forget.  What are some of mine? Climbing a fence because a snake chased me up there.  I yelled for my Mom until she came out of the house and chopped the snake up with a shovel!  She saved my life!  She was my hero! My parents owned a junk-yard when I was very little.  I remember watching my Dad working on cars all day every day.  I wanted to do my part, so I would go around to some of the cars and take off the valve stem caps (ya know the little black caps where you put air in…

April was a  busy month!  With the weather getting nice we could finally take Ace outside to play.  He digs the outdoors, probably more than me!  Of course, as Ace learns to do new things, I learn new things as well…like performing the Poop-endectomy! While traveling down to Louisiana for work, one of my favorite drinks was infested with fowl!  Luckily I survived to tell of the experience, and also remembered to thank Katy at AdventuresInParenting for the wonderful award she so generously gave me! Momma walked in the March For Babies!  Her goal was to raise $125 and she did it! …

13 comments | Categories: Funny Stuff, Pictures

I am jealous of most of the other Mom and Dad bloggers. Why? Their kids talk. Their kids say the funniest things…which makes for some great blogging material. Since Ace does not talk yet, I rely on pictures, videos, and the cuteness factor! However, I was hangin’ out with my three year old niece, Olivia, the other day when she said something to me that rang the “I gotta write a post about this” bell. Let’s call it good practice for when Ace starts talking… Olivia: Uncle JoJo, what is this on your arm? (Petting my arm) Me: What? Where? Olivia: Right…

Greetings! A father named Terry writes: “My definition of time is that it’s the most valuable thing in the world I can give my son. Though I’ve believed this since he was born, I have a different perspective now. My father is dying of pancreatic cancer and during my visits with him, I’ve been flooded with memories from when I was a young child. One memory that stands out for some reason is that when I was probably three years old, I watched him use a post hole digger at the end of our driveway to put a mailbox in. He was big, strong, and invincible. He seemed like Superman to me.

When Ava’s umbilical cord feel off it was evident that she has an Outie Belly Button, “no bikini modelling for our little girl” says her mum. I had to smile to myself, as Ava looks just like her mum, there is one little thing she shares with her father. That’s right I have an Outie, as does 2 other of my children (that’s 3 out of 4 of my children have an Outie). This is for all the people out there wondering how some people (10%) have an Outie Belly Button. First: Where or how the doctor cuts the umbilical cord has NOTHING I repeat NOTHING to do with having an Outie, just in case…

In celebration of Father's Day, the filmmakers behind the "Evolution of Dad" documentary project filmed close to 150 people around New York City, talking about their dads. The interviews are touching, funny and sometimes heartbreaking. We hope you enjoy the videos and share them with those you care about this Father's Day. It may not be Father's Day today, but as a father it is great to hear the appreciation and love for fathers. Call your father Warm Regards - Eric

Becoming a father again, I would had thought I would already know many tips and tricks with looking after and raising a baby, and I do... However getting wind out of Ava has proven to be a struggle, normal techniques of patting and rubbing her back while over my shoulder while gets some results after some time is not enough, to clear the blue colouring around her face (sign of gas in the body). Even the football hold with Ava lying face down on my arm then patting her back gets more farts than burps... farts are ok too I guess. Changing her position from horizontal to upright over the…

Thanks to a generous relative in the UK, we were given a very cool Infant Monitor to monitor our new baby Ava while she sleeps. Just like any other Infant Monitor we can listen to every sound little Ava makes, sound also displays as flashing lights on the parent monitor. The Parent Monitor is also mobile and has a clip so that it can be attached during the daily routine of hanging out washing or just being about the house. What sets this monitor apart from others we have seen available in New Zealand of the shelf, is the colour video monitor, and it works at night too using basic night vision…

Something is maybe wrong with me, but it’s kind of nice when I get mistaken for a woman. The first time it happened, the happy-happy glow didn’t fade for a week (despite the fact that in that case I’d mistaken myself for a woman). Today at the playground, a newfound friend was feeling a little standoffish with me. She’s just Boobaby’s age and they seem compatible. We’ve seen them a handful of times, but this poor girl K— still didn’t want to get any closer to the goofy guy in the red hat. (And who can blame her, really.) Her mom reassured me…

The Saucer Swing. And no, it didn’t suddenly start snowing in San Francisco. I stole borrowed the picture off the Internests. It was supposed to be a little pratfall, that’s all. Sadly, I was the prat. Boobaby and one of her posse of four-year olds were on the playground’s saucer swing this Monday. Do you know these things? They’re large concave metal disks that started showing up in San Francisco playgrounds a couple of years ago. Admirably, it’s basically impossible to fall off one of ‘em — something about centrifugal force, I think, glues your butt…

Please, if you would, imagine the rest of this post in a sportscaster voice. Yesterday’s playground snub was so complicated it needs one of those football play diagrams. I ran into a mom today, someone I’d met only once at a market months ago. (We’ll call her “Mom A” — start at the upper left of the diagram.) When I first met Mom A she seemed like a true stay-at-home mom, in the sense that she rarely left the house. I would go batshit crazy if I didn’t get Boo out of the house every day, so I encouraged her to come to the playground with us, but she…

I wrote a rap for you today. I’m selfish like a shellfishMy ego is such a big loadIt’s got its own zip code I might go ballistic‘Cause I’m so solipsistic It goes on like that. Except, as a favor I’m guest blogging over at Rattling the Kettle today for vacationing Dave, so I guess I’m not so selfish after all. Except that I wrote it about how being a parent makes me feel so… selfish. Click here, o big-hearted one. ShareThis

Attagirl. Two and you already know how to twist me around your little finger… Yesterday I tried to plant a sneak kiss on Boobaby’s cheek, and she of course giggle-screamed, “Noooooooooooo Daddy! Don’t kiss me!” I replied, naturally, that I was only kissing her because I love her. She came back with this: “I very love you, Daddy!” She really should have asked for the car keys, ’cause she would’ve gotten them, no questions asked. ShareThis

After dinner, I was teasing Nicole about her tummy. As she was watching "Winnie the Pooh", I remarked: " Does Pooh's tummy look like Nicole's?" She replied confidently, "No, It looks like Mummy's! Pooh's tummy is like when she was carrying Nadine!" LOL!!! I don't think mummy was impressed!   Nicole's hair is also finally growing longer. Last week, was the first time she was able to tie her hair. Looks like we just crossed another significant moment in her life!

Praise the Lord! Finished 2 of my exams already and 1 more assignment to hand up on Friday before the end of my 1st semester in Trinity Theological College. Today, I had a 3 hour paper where I had to write 5 essays. I was so tired that after finishing my last essay, I could not remember anything else as I read through my paper again...maybe because it's been such a long time, since I last took exams...brain is not used to that kind of pressure anymore. American Idol If you guys have not been following the present season on TV, last week Paula Abdul made a big 'boo-boo" on the Show. The…

This year at City Harvest, we are celebrating Mother's Day in a new way. Besides the traditional door gift and the super touching drama, we are having other interesting activities as well. We have a "look-alike' contest (where u submit pictures of yourself and your mum), and a "Best Mum" Contest (where u submit a testimonial on where u feel your mum is the best!) If u have some great shots of you and your mum and you really want to honor your mum, submit your pictures and testimonial to mothersday@chc.org.sg. Alternatively, you can go to the church website for more details. But…

My apologies for not updating my blog as frequently, as my exams are next week, and I have got quite a lot of readings to do in the next few days. Just recently though, I received confirmation of my final hospital bill. Trust me, it is not exactly exciting news. As you can see (right at the bottom of the graphic), The total bill for Nadine is:                               $3491.27 I know, you are probably saying that maybe I can pay by CPF (Social…

14 month old Nathan has really been growing from strength to strength. He is no longer like a marshmallow man! After having 2 girls & 1 boy, you can really see the difference, as boys have endless energy - literally moving from activity to activity. The other day, I decided to give them a 'treat' and bathe them in a small little bathe tub together. (Parenting tip - your kids will love the experience, as they bathe & splash water together) After soaping them down, I decided to brush Nathan's teeth. I put on this blue little finger brush, plastered on the children's colgate, and stuck…

All I can say about last month is that I’m glad I got through it… some of my highlights included: 1. My laptop computer has been on it’s last legs for a while… it’s an HP pavilion workhorse (nx9000 series) -17 inch monitor, big hard drive, fast cpu, lots of memory, and about 4 years old with a fan that was in hyper drive and enough heat generated to warm a small room to a comfortable temp.  A year ago lines started to show up in the display.  Every month a few more vertical lines would appear.  The nvidia video driver kept freezing the operating…

When I first decided to build a chicken coop, there were 2 reasons.  The first was that my daughter wanted chickens.   The second was that the idea of fresh eggs was appealing and I thought it would be economical. A recent article at the Washington Post talks about the price of eggs going up 30% since last year.  It got me to thinking how much does it cost me to keep my hens? Now, I originally spent about $300 to put together my chicken coop, not including labor and I’ve probably spent another $30 on the roofing material and the safety hinges for the nesting box roof…

In a recent article by USA Today George Lucas says: “When you do a movie like this, a sequel that’s very, very anticipated, people anticipate ultimately that it’s going to be the Second Coming,” Lucas says. “And it’s not. It’s just a movie. Just like the other movies. You probably have fond memories of the other movies. But if you went back and looked at them, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up.” And I have to wonder is he knows that his last couple of movies have really sucked, and it was only the name “Star…

A couple of  month ago, I was over at a friend’s house and they had a container of “Raw Milk”.  I thought this was an incredible novelty because I’d always thought that it was illegal for unpasteurized milk to be sold in America. I did a little digging and found out that this is not true.  Here is the law: FDA law CFR 1240.61 states that it is illegal for anyone to transport raw dairy products across state lines “in final package form for direct human consumption unless that product has been pasteurized.” It turns out that Organic Pastures up…

  This may become a regular feature.  I’m all about simple living.  Or, as my wife has put it, she’s got me on the “crap-reduction plan.” So a friend of mine told me about this, and I couldn’t believe that there was an actual device (and apparent patent) for cracking an egg. Seriously, can there be a more useless item to spend $6.98 on? Sadly, the item is offered by Amazon seller “Get Organized“ Shouldn’t one of the first rules of being organized be “Don’t buy crap you don’t need, are never going to use, are…

Someone sent this to me last week and with the global food crisis that is upon us PLEASE spare a moment to think of those who are less fortunate and do your part to help them ease their burden.I was at the corner grocery store buying someearly potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean,hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the…

For the lack of a better title I'll settle for that!! Today wifey went to Singapore for a business trip and will be back tomorrow! No big deal right! We'll it is to me. It's been ages since she last went on a trip and the last time she went was whe I started my blog...can't remember when but I know it was close to a year ago. Okay that got me curious...it was in May and my second post was "Cathastophe Averted"...my first was just a welcome message because I wasn't sure what i was doing here!!Anyway, it just brings back memories of me putting the little one to bed and then using my old dial up…

Okay okay!! I know I haven't been around much lately and I've also not been doing my usual rounds on the other blogs! Don't even talk about leaving comments and responding to comments or tags that I've failed to do!! Taking this course is really taking up most of my time and what ever time I have left I spend with my little one so I hope you understand. Work has been busy too so no chance of sneaking a post here or there. I guess when it rains it pours as the old saying goes.Anyway, today was no different except we had to do some grocery buying and also needed to get a couple of new toys to…

LET ME TEST YOUR IQ....DID YOU GET THE ANSWERS?A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam was havingtrouble with one of herstudents. The teacher asked,"Boy, what is yourproblem?"Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in thethird-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think Ishould be in thethird-grade too!"Ms. Neelam had enough. She took Boy to theprincipal's office.While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacherexplained to theprincipal what the situation was. The principal toldMs Neelam he wouldgive the boy a test and if he failed to answer any ofhis questions he wasto go back…

It' s been another hectic week what with classes and the usual stuff. However, we decided to do a little baking between the "booking". Anyway since I'm not a man of many words lately I'll do another pictorial...hey pictures are supposed to paint a thousand words right! LOLWifey made some delicious chocolate brownies...I baked sausage rolls... close up of my little creations heheheWifey tried her hand at cupcakes...the blue berry kind,,,none survived!as you can see! heheThen it was time for books... and a little sunshine...and more books...and finally group study at my place!!Yes...books…

With the arrival of little Madeleine only weeks (okay 3 months) away, it’s time for me to spruce up both the nursery and Olivia’s room. With all the buzz about going green, I’ve decided to use a low or zero V.O.C. paint in each room. I don’t want all the odor associated with traditional paint lingering in the house while my toddler and pregnant wife are in the house. If you’re new to the term V.O.C. (or volatile organic compounds), check out what the EPA has to say about them: “ VOCs are emitted as gases from certain solids or liquids. VOCs include a…

Jeremy over at Discovering Dad just wrapped up an awesome series of articles about “What do moms really think?” He kicked off the series on Sunday and the final part was published today. I had to share it with my readers because it is a wonderful series of articles for both moms and dads. If you haven’t read it, I suggest you check it out right away. To give you an idea about the series, check out what Jeremy had to say about the women who were kind enough to offer their oppionion: Over the next five days, you will get the inside scoop on moms from five of the coolest women…

Since my daughter is 2 1/2 she’s into and curious about everything. One thing she’s particularly interested in is my laptop. She’s been fascinated with computers for quite a while. There has been a computer in her last two rooms at school and loves to play and watch other kids play with the computer. I recently found a way to use my computer to score some serious one-on-one time with my daughter. She loves to “do dolls” with me. What we do is sit together on the couch and search for pictures of dolls and anything “princess” related on Amazon.

The wife and I have entered into the third trimester of Madeleine’s pregnancy and it’s all downhill from here! In my last update I gave my readers a little background on how my wife and I got to where we are today. If you’re just now joining me, I suggest you check it out to get yourself more up to speed. We had our 26 week check up today and Mandy had her glucose screening and tolerance test done today. This test helps doctors determine if a woman has diabetes during pregnancy (a.k.a. Gestational diabetes). I’m happy to report that her glucose test results came back…

The Art Of Manliness is hosting the first ever Manival. What’s a manival you ask? Well, it’s a blog carnival for everything manly! If you haven’t read The Art Of Manliness you’re missing out on some awesome articles. Brett does a fantastic job putting together fresh and well written articles about…well…how to be manly. The manival includes articles about fatherhood, marriage and relationships, dress and grooming, money and how to generally man up. We could all use a little help in one of these areas. If you’re shaking your head “no”, then…

Picture yourself in front of an impossibly tall door that can easily be opened, but not by you. Imagine, if you will, the sound of a small hand smacking against a pane of glass. Visualize the frantic motions of someone whose dexterity is still in beta development, spurred into action by a burning need to get the attention of a person who is looking the other way and cannot hear your warnings. Can you imagine the frustration felt, the panicky sweat that would make smooth hands clammy and brushed hair matted? Hopefully you are picturing a cute, active baby and not some sort of demon spawn just…

One of the best skills a person can have is the ability to put a positive spin on a potentially bad situation. I’m not talking about someone who blindly ignores the icky parts of life in favor of Precious Moments figurines and posters of kittens staunchly “hanging in there.” This optimistic outlook needs to be authentic and honest, boldly acknowledging that things aren’t perfect without actually focusing on that glum fact. Take for example this anecdote from my college graduation. Commencement was held outside on the Marist College green despite warnings of heavy rains to come. And…

I realize that I have been remiss in reporting funny Hazel anecdotes, illustrated by unbelievably cute photos of our little girl. Just so you know, this post won’t really have much to say about Hazel, but with her First Birthday coming up in just two weeks(!), she’ll have much attention lavished upon her. For now, let’s focus on two occurrences that happened this week to pull Ragozzine optimism into a pin-wheeling nosedive. First off, let’s turn the clock back a few nights. Hazel was slumbering peacefully in her crib, affording Megan and I the chance to sit back and watch some good…

Megan and I had lots of misgivings before sending Hazel to daycare. Would we become strangers, ranking behind all those fun teachers? Would she learn all sorts of nasty behavior? Would she be permanently snot-ridden and coughing? The pessimistic litany went on and on, our cyclical conversations on the matter amounting to nothing more than philosophical tires spinning in the mud. In the end, we had to admit that Hazel needs to see other kids and have other adult authority figures without us around. Independent relationships are important, and we certainly don’t want to raise a high…

My work trip to Chattanooga ended very nicely. I even found time to walk around their downtown, which is darn nice what with the river walk along the Tennessee River, the Walnut Street Pedestrian Bridge, and the spacious, wide sidewalks leading to loads of quality restaurants. The nice thing about doing consulting work with schools is that you are typically done by 4 p.m. at the latest.  I am happy to report that many a Frisbee floated in the Chattanoogan sky that eve.  If that city wasn’t in the South, I could totally see myself living there. While at our client’s school, I was…

Let me start of by saying this: I finally realized the other day that because our oldest daughter is a vegetarian, at home I am effectively a vegetarian. This blows on many levels. 1) I’m not really big on things that grow in the ground. i.e., fruits and veggies. 2) I like meat. 3) I hate animals passionately and want to eat all of them. (see #2). Not only has the flesh of dead animals mostly been banished from our house, but we also have a bunch of organic food in the kitchen. Fake meat, free range eggs, milk from “happy cows,” etc. I don’t mind it that much, really.

“We are taking fire! Cover me!” “Die, you accursed pig dog!” “I’m hit! Aaahhhhh!” These are small sampling of quotes from Lucas’ birthday party at a Laser Tag place last Friday. None of those quotes are specifically from me, but they could have been, but for a small amount of self control. Here’s the thing about Laser Tag: When you are 14 and running around with your buds and screaming and shooting anything that moves: very fun. When you are in your 40s and doing the same thing: kind of freaky. Which is not to say that I didn’t have…

Facts: They ran the Kentucky Derby over the weekend. Hillary Clinton picked the only philly in the race, a horse called “Eight Belles” to win the big show. Her horse was soundly trounced. By a horse named “Big Brown” Her horse broke BOTH its front ankles after the race. The injury was so severe that the horse had to be put down. Draw your own conclusions.

Well, mine is anyway. I suspect that the rest of you are screwed until January 20, 2009. Reha the Extra Special and Wonderful Spouse of Love comes home today! For a treat, give yourself a little mental picture of me over here doing the “Happy Joy Dance.” Generally, when I do the “Happy Joy Dance” I’m only wearing a pair of white tube socks and a stocking cap with fuzzy yellow antlers that stick out at crazy angles, but in this case I’ll give you a pass. I’ll be over here doing The Dance fully clothed and not stinking of sweat and covered in antler…

Salient Facts: Reha is out of town until Friday night. Because of #1 and my sixteen children, I lack the will to live after 8:30 PM, never long try and be witty, clever or funny Jonah, the poster child for ADD, has a book report due on Wed. We will both be lucky to be alive come Wednesday morning. Normal work stuff: Big Client, Tight Deadlines, Insanity, the Usual Fare™. The new Madonna album drops today. (OK, technically, I don’t really care about Madonna’s new album, but I really don’t care about GTA IV coming out today and that’s about the only other thing…

NASCAR BABY by Team Baby Entertainment Featuring the voice of Jay Leno There’s a children’s DVD company called Team Baby Entertainment. Greg, the president, has done a wonderful job of creating sports themed children’s “entertainment.” The reason why I’ve put quotes around the word entertainment is because Team Baby goes far beyond simply keeping our kids occupied. It helps [...]

The following excerpt is from the book Stories of the Spirit, by Jack Kornfield & Christina Feldman. A family went out to a restaurant for dinner. When the waitress arrived, the parents gave their orders. Immediately, their five-year-old daughter piped up with her own: “I’ll have a hot dog, French fries an a Coke.” “Oh no you [...]

Happy Birthday to Max! He turned 4 today! You know, I am more tired than I have ever been in my entire life. But I wouldn’t trade being his dad for the world. He’s my big pal, the Peter Venkman to my Egon Spengler. He’s my oldest son and I’m very proud of him…   Now this little [...]

Last week I was listening to Wisconsin Public Radio. There’s a show I enjoy on my drive home called: At Issue with Ben Merens. The featured guest was a man named Jeff Cox, former editor of Organic Gardening magazine.  I learned some very interesting information about the PLU Codes of produce that I’d like to share. PLU Codes [...]

In the May issue of Parenting Magazine, I found yet another ad from a major children’s company that excludes dads. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, especially since it’s an ad inside a magazine who’s cover tagline is “What Matters to Moms.” The ad, which appears on page 54, is for an “easy-grip, no-slip bottle*” for [...]

George Lucas has an idea for reforming public schools, and it has nothing to do with dressing little kids in homespun robes and teaching them to make objects float with their minds. Instead, the George Lucas Educational Foundation is looking for ways to use new technology and concepts like project learning and integrated studies to keep kids creative and engaged. Edutopia is a website and magazine that highlights cutting-edge teaching all over the world. I've found lots of thought-provoking articles on schools and learning, and ideas for things to do with my own kids and the other students I…

I grew up next to, and spent many formative hours in, Berkeley, California.  This probably explains a lot about me.  One of the coolest things about the University of California there has alwa